poems — When I still write poetry and not lines of code

In my Notes! Writing this was easier…

I wrote the below poem about two years back, entering a new industry officially with trepidation and doubt and I titled this then “When I can still only write a poem and not a line of code.” Today, I still am not a software developer and don’t have intentions to be one, but a few lines of code is possible and so a revised title! Thank God.

Reading this again brought a quiet assurance — “wow, I somehow got through all these head things” —where I still don’t have all the answers, still have doubts, still feel like what I’ve written but hey, there is no doubt growth. Little by little. It’s also quite something seeing how adaptable humans can be — thoughts on this another day.

It’s like being plucked out from one world into another

Where it feels like some sort of a brain makeover

A different language literally altogether

And I am still processing, like a machine but slower

What do I know of the future, of how far I would go?

I don’t know and would very much want to go with the flow

Just one step at a time I ask

But somehow fastness seems to be a must

Oh discomfort, how real uncomfortable you can be!

It’s a lot of unlearning relearning as far as I can see

“Interesting” is the only word I catch myself replying in situations

‘Cos somehow I can’t find any other word to describe this season

I don’t regret this but I don’t like this feeling either

This figuring out, can I do this? doubt like no other

What I thought it was is really not

What I thought was easy is not

What I thought was common is not

“What I thought” now becomes an afterthought

(This is how fast things can be)

But as much as all these craziness can come like a brewing storm

And all that thousand-and-one expectations can make one feel worn

I want to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily tangles

To be focused on things that this one life ultimately matters

To remember Grace is sufficient in every breath taken

And That Power is made perfect in all my weakest moments



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(aka. Joanne Tan Chu En) A collection of musings and interesting finds along the way in life. Trying to write more.